


Secrets Brought to Light

by adirtysilver



Category: Vampyr (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, No Civilian Kills | Not Even Once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 10:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adirtysilver/pseuds/adirtysilver
Summary: Jonathan finds himself still awake during the day and also happens to get visited by his old friend Clarence Crossley. His friend has something important to discuss with him in his office with all of its boarded up windows.





	Secrets Brought to Light

Staring intently at the blood sample under the microscope, Jonathan ignored the fact that he could feel the sun was up outside, pressing down on him. He was safe in his office, the windows boarded up and the door to the balcony closed. He was so close to a breakthrough analyzing this sample he had gotten from the plague victim that he was surprised when there was a knock on his door.

He had left the lights on; it would be suspicious if he was working in the dark, but he still didn’t expect to be disturbed in the daytime. He was sure Edgar had impressed this rule upon the other staff members at the hospital, so it had to be something urgent.

“Excuse me, Dr. Reid. I know you aren’t to be bothered during the day, but I noticed you seemed to be awake. There is a man here claiming to be your close friend and is demanding to be able to see you. He says he has something very important to discuss with you that can’t wait.”

Jonathan tried to guess who it could be, his eyebrows scrunching together. No one had tried to visit him here at the hospital before.

“Who did this man say he is?” he called to the nurse outside, turning away from his work.

“Clarence Crossley, Doctor.”

“Clarence…” Jonathan breathed in disbelief. Why had he traveled all the way here from the West End? Did he have some kind of vampire-related problem? Jonathan had been torn between telling Clarence he believed him when he’d said vampires were real and telling him that it was ridiculous. He didn’t want Clarence getting tangled up in the nightmare Jonathan would never be able to escape. But in the end, he had wanted to show his friend support, that there was at least one person who trusted him. Hopefully it wasn’t something he was about to regret.

“Tell him he can come in,” Jonathan said as he turned to take one last look at the blood sample under the microscope, reluctant to stop when he was so close. Without looking up, he listened as footsteps entered the room, stopping just a few feet away.

“Johnny!” Clarence greeted.

Jonathan looked up to see his friend nervously tugging at his hands, his hair a mess and even more pronounced bags under his eyes than usual. “Hello, Clarence. What brings you here at this hour?”

“I had to visit you, and it had to be during the day. The night…it’s not safe to travel.” Clarence paused, eyes wandering around the room briefly before returning to look Jonathan in the eye. “All those notes you found me, about vampires, I’ve read them. I showed them to Venus as well, but she’s still reluctant to believe me. I noticed something as I read them. Some of those documents were written by the very founder of a club of vampires. The Ascalon Club is what they call themselves, and their headquarters are right across from Russel’s shop! There are vampires living just down the street from your mother! From me! We have to do something!”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow, forcing himself to sound incredulous. “A club of vampires in the West End? Practically in plain sight? How could such a thing exist without more people knowing?”

There was a hurt look on his face as Clarence replied, “I knew about the club even before you gave me those notes. This just proved it to me without a doubt! This Lord Redgrave, he’s a vampire and he’s gathered together others of his kind to rule Britain! You said you believed me…”

“I said I believed you when you claimed you saw a vampire. This… This is another level. It sounds just like a conspiracy theory.” Even as he was saying it, Jonathan felt guilty. He had offered false hope to Clarence that he was someone the man could count on to support him in his vampire research. He should’ve been more careful with what documents he had handed over to his friend.

“Johnny, how could you? Have you been indulging me this whole time while secretly thinking I’m crazy?” Clarence was growing agitated, his voice raising as he waved his hands about.

“No!” Jonathan nearly shouted. Realizing he was also starting to get wound up, he took a deep breath to try to steady himself. “Look, Clarence, if all of this is true, it’s too dangerous for you to get involved with. If you were to pose a threat to this Lord Redgrave or his followers, what’s to keep them from simply getting rid of you? You’ve never had to defend yourself from a vampire before!” Despite his attempt at calm, Jonathan’s voice was growing louder again as the image of some Ekon embracing his friend appeared in his mind. “You wouldn’t stand a chance!”

Clarence’s eyes widened. Jonathan cringed as he realized he had failed at trying to be the calm one. His worry had been made evident; it would be near impossible to feign indifference and reluctant belief now. Afraid of digging himself a deeper hole, Jonathan watched Clarence, waiting to see how he would respond.

No immediate response, just Clarence recovering from his shock before narrowing his eyes, looking intently at Jonathan. Then he glanced around the room once more.

“Johnny, you look so pale,” Clarence started slowly. “You said you worked night shifts, which explained it. I haven’t seen you around except at night, assumed you slept the daylight hours away. But now, here you are, still awake during the day, yet hiding from the sun. Why not have some windows open? Sunlight’s good for your health, isn’t it? And then you wouldn’t need to use these lights.” As he was saying this, Clarence was surreptitiously edging towards the balcony door. “I can’t believe all these windows are boarded up! And do you just sleep here instead of going home to your poor mother? Why don’t you stop by and visit her more often? You’re all she has left. You weren’t even at your sister’s funeral!”

Jonathan’s mind was racing. He couldn’t just tell Clarence to stop what he was trying to do, that would be even more suspicious. He could try mesmerizing him, but he’d never done it at such a range, and getting closer to Clarence would probably set him off. He could only try to talk him like nothing was wrong and hope his friend’s suspicions would go away.

“I got back to London just after her funeral. I…regret missing it.” Jonathan was choked with genuine emotion, and he noticed it caused Clarence to pause at least briefly. “I do try to visit mother when I can, but with this epidemic, I cannot visit her as often as I would like. This hospital is short-staffed and alarmingly low on supplies. It is a challenge just to keep everything from falling into utter chaos.”

“How long have you worked at this hospital, Johnny? You seem to care an awful lot about the state it’s in. More than the state of your own family!”

Jonathan flinched at the words. Similar thoughts had tormented him before, the fact the he didn’t feel as though he could totally refute such an accusation. His desire to help others coming before caring for his own family. He sagged down in his chair, defeated.

“Perhaps I do not place a high enough priority on my family. I can admit that.” Jonathan was silent as he considered his next words carefully. “Clarence, I trust you. Do you trust me? Can’t we just talk this out as friends?”

At that plea, Clarence looked as though he were about to cry. “I do want to trust you, Johnny. You say you trust me, but… You’re so different now, since you’ve come back from the war. And it feels like…it feels like you’re hiding something big from me.” He took another step towards the door, no longer trying to hide it. He was only a few steps away from being able to reach it now.

Jonathan cautiously stood up, making sure not to make any sudden moves and took a few steps towards Clarence, approaching him like some wild animal he didn’t want to startle. “Clarence, I-“

In response to his approach, Clarence made a break for the door.

“No!” Jonathan froze in place, trying to decide if he should grab onto Clarence to forcibly stop him, but it would require his inhuman speed. His secret would be exposed either way, and that would definitely frighten his friend. “ **Clarence, stop!** ” he commanded, trying to put as much of his power behind it as possible, but to no avail.

Clarence shoved the door wide open, and sunlight came flooding in, catching Jonathan squarely in it.

The sun in all its glory blinded Jonathan and brought him to his knees, crying out in pain. He was in the most agony he had ever felt, that first time the sun’s light had burned him being a mere taste of what would happen if he were bathed in daylight. He hunched over instinctively, trying to reduce the amount of skin exposed to the sun, groaning and gasping in pain.

“You’re not Johnny...” Clarence said, a hysterical note to his voice. “He died, he never came back from the war. You’re just, you’re just some monster pretending to be him!”

“Clarence…I am your friend, Johnny,” Jonathan gritted out. “Just let me…just let me explain!” He tried to uncurl himself to look up at his friend, but only managed to lift his gaze to his chest before hissing in pain and bowing his head again.

“Liar! You’re a soulless demon! The fact that the sun is burning you right now is proof! What else could you be except evil?”

“I’m still Johnny. I came back from the war…Was walking around the streets at night…then I was attacked. It was painful…then I fell to the ground. Didn’t want to die…too much to do.” Jonathan felt his shaking arms give out, causing his face to crash into the floor. He dug his fingernails into the wood, and pushed himself up a few inches before falling back down and laying there. He needed more air to speak, the pain making it hard to fill his lungs while the air around him filled with the smoke of his burning flesh. After a few desperate gasps, he continued, “Woke up, surrounded by corpses… Started to breathe again, and it was hard to think…Everything was gray. I could hardly walk…Was overcome by the  _ thirst _ . And then…and then there was  _ red . _ And all I could hear was a pounding.”

“I don’t-"

“A person…embraced me. I couldn’t make out any words…only the pounding. No thoughts except the thirst…and that bright red calling out to me…Then I…then I…I bit down. The blood…it was the best I’d ever felt. Had to drink it all…Then the ecstasy faded, and I could make out words…” Jonathan trailed off into a whisper. The sun beat down on him mercilessly, burning him from the inside as if it were retribution for the horrendous crime he was now confessing to. It suddenly felt important to him that he looked his friend in the eyes. No more hiding, not now. Clarence could judge him. There was no going back.

Using up all the strength he could muster, Jonathan managed to get into a half kneeling position, one arm still braced against the floor to give himself support as he trembled from the strain. He forced himself to lift his head, seeking Clarence’s eyes blindly in the searing brightness before finding them. They were wide in horror as his friend stood transfixed. Now unprotected, Jonathan’s smoldering face began to blaze, but he barely grimaced.

“She said my name…asked her brother what he had done. And I stared down in horror at my poor Mary. I tried to save her, stop the bleeding…but it was too late. I had killed her.  _ I _ was the one who murdered Mary.”

“Oh God…” Clarence took another step back. “You killed your own sister? Why… _why_ _are you telling me this_?”

“It upset you, that I was keeping secrets. I’m trying to show…I trust you. When I first woke up, I didn’t know what I was. The thirst was so intense…I didn’t even consciously drink her blood. Not that that doesn’t make me any less a murderer. But she has been my only victim. I have not and shall not ever drink another's blood like that again. And I swear I won’t hurt you.”

“I don’t trust you!” Clarence shouted back, voice cracking as tears began to run down his face. “You say she’s been your only victim, but she was  _ your sister _ . Maybe you weren’t in control, but then what’s to say you won’t lose control again in the future? Maybe the you right now has a conscience, but you’re just in denial if you think that means everything’s fine. That you aren’t a monster. You might not be soulless, but you’ve still been corrupted!”

Jonathan dropped his gaze. “If that is how you see me…” By now he was burning all over. He could see the bone of a few of his knuckles sticking out among the blackened skin of his hands. The pain was intense, had been intense, but it felt more distant now as a great sense of sorrow welled up in him. His friend feared and hated him now, and what he had said cut deep, having at least a grain of truth to it.

Gathering up his strength, Jonathan managed to hurl himself sideways, into the shadows. He collided with his work bench with a loud thud, rattling its drawers and startling Clarence into jumping back. Jonathan lay there, sprawled halfway under the bench, panting heavily and watching Clarence. He had to do something about the fact that Clarence knew his secret now, had to ensure that he wouldn’t try to tell anyone else. Jonathan didn’t know what to do, though. He just felt so tired.

Smoke was still billowing off of him even as he slowly started to heal. He was so tempted to just close his eyes and let himself sink into a deep sleep, the toll of keeping himself awake during the daytime combining with his injuries and his body’s desperate attempt to heal itself.

“You won’t just let me leave, will you?” Clarence asked in a small voice. He was eyeing the far doorway and noting how much of the room was filled with sunlight, trying to guess at how much Jonathan could do to try to stop him if he made a mad dash for it.

Jonathan sighed before forcing himself to first sit up, and then, grunting with exertion, got himself into a hunched over standing position. He barely caught himself from falling flat on his face as pain surged through him from everywhere, the fire still tormenting his insides. As soon as he steadied himself, he was assaulted by a different form of blinding light and his thoughts started to scatter. Clarence had pulled out a crucifix and was wielding it defiantly.

“Stay back, beast!”

Jonathan stumbled back a step, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. “Wait, I-I just-you can’t.” He knocked into his work bench again, almost falling back onto it. “I have to make sure…You  _ can’t _ tell anyone.”

“So now you’re just going to kill me? Silence the witness?”

“No!” Jonathan snarled, baring his fangs in frustration. He squeezed his eyes shut, sick of being blinded. He fought back against the force pushing him away, took a step forward. He had to make Clarence see, wanted to grab a hold of him to prevent him from escaping, to force him to really focus on him.

Caught off guard, Clarence took yet another step back and let out a startled cry. He had been on the edge of the balcony and there was no further he could go. Jonathan snapped his eyes open as he felt the oppressive presence disappear and saw Clarence falling backwards at an angle where he would land on his head.

Jonathan spared a second to consider how reckless it would be before jumping out with a streak of black mist to grab Clarence. He cried out in pain, flinching as soon as the light hit him, but managed to catch hold of Clarence. He couldn’t tell up from down or how close they were to the ground. His mind was only filled with searing pain as he burst into flames anew, but instinctively he clutched Clarence as close to himself as he could and tried to ensure that they would land on his own back.

There was a sickening crack as they hit the ground, and Jonathan felt all the breath leave his lungs. There was an unknown amount of time where he blacked out, and when he came to he struggled wildly, gasping before screaming and writhing. There was a sharp pain in his neck now to accompany the rest of his body being on fire. At first he panicked, knowing he was lying out in the middle of the sun, not remembering how he got there. It took a few seconds before the events that brought him there came back in a rush.

“Clarence…are you alright?” Jonathan asked, voice rough.

“Yes, I’m fine,” came the shaky reply from a few feet to his left.

“Oh, thank-gah!” A violent spasm rocked Jonathan, almost causing him to black out again. He had to catch his breath before he could speak again. “Thank God.” Even though he knew he should be worried about his situation, Jonathan mostly felt relieved. 

He didn’t think he could move. He had sustained what would’ve been a fatal neck injury if he weren’t a vampire, and he had not even fully recovered before his return to the daylight. He had no idea how much more his body could take. And if he couldn’t move, he would be stuck here until his flesh burned away completely. He had already been lucky in that it seemed no one was around to witness him in the state he was in, but at some point someone would wander by and then Clarence wouldn’t be the only witness he’d need to deal with.

“Johnny, are  _ you _ alright?”

Jonathan let out a sharp bark of laughter, caught by surprise at the genuine concern he could hear in Clarence’s voice. “No…I don’t suppose I am.”

“Will the sun kill you if you don’t get out of it?”

“According to a note I found...no,” Jonathan gritted out between gasps. “But this isn’t...the most private place..to lay and be burned down to a skeleton... Assuming that note was accurate.”

Jonathan was half-heartedly trying to figure a way out of his current predicament when he was startled out of his thoughts by a hand tugging at him. He was pulled up onto his feet, eliciting a sharp intake of breath as the movement caused new spikes of pain in various parts of his body. His arm was slung over someone who then braced themselves to hold up Jonathan with practically no help from him. Leaning heavily on the new support, it was all he could do to keep from falling over. It took his mind a few seconds to process what was happening, and as he realized Clarence was attempting to get him out of there, Jonathan did his best to be less of a burden.

Clarence had to drag him; he tried to move his feet to walk along, but his body refused to cooperate. Jonathan felt guilty with how awkwardly he was draped across his friend due to their height difference. His head was lying on Clarence’s shoulder, face so close to his neck. He was already struggling to think clearly, and now this tantalizing meal was right there. Fixating upon the unguarded flesh, Jonathan swallowed, his throat unbearably dry.

Need was coursing through him. He needed more blood so he could heal his wounds. If he just bit down and drank, this incessant pain would go away. It would even bring him  _ pleasure _ . Fangs aching, he leaned in slightly closer, gripping onto Clarence with his right arm, holding onto his prey. He was unexpectedly jostled as Clarence began to descend stairs, and his nose barely brushed up against his neck. Jonathan’s lip curled up. He opened his mouth, moving that last bit closer... Letting out a quiet growl, he shook his head erratically, teeth clenched as he fought to stay in control.

“Johnny?”

The voice was enough to give him presence of mind, at least temporarily. “Clarence…It isn’t safe to be near me right now,” he said in a strained voice. Even as the bloodlust was more manageable, his fangs were still extended and too close to temptation. Each step they went down brought Jonathan briefly closer to and then further from the great, pulsing red. It was teasing him, tugging him in just a bit further each time.

“Well, we’re almost to a safe spot for you,” Clarence replied, seemingly unbothered.

Frustrated, Jonathan snapped, “I’m being serious! Just leave me here! I will manage.”

“And you said that you would never hurt me. That you wouldn’t drink anyone’s blood. If you lose control now, I’d say it was inevitable, and I’d rather it happen now before I truly start to hope you’re still my old friend.”

“Gah! Must you always be so frustrating?”

“I’d say that’s my line.”

Closing his eyes to at least shut out the sight, Jonathan listened intently to Clarence’s steady heartbeat. He tried focusing on the pain, the sensation of his flesh burning away. The stench of smoke. His exhaustion. The rhythmic pounding lulled him despite it all. His thoughts faded away. He found himself nuzzling the crook of Clarence’s neck, fangs just barely skimming his skin before he jerked his head back, eyes snapping open. Gasping harshly, he was overcome with panic that then faded into disgust.

“I’m sorry…” Jonathan whispered, barely audible.

Clarence’s heartbeat had started hammering but was slowing down again. “S-see? I knew I could get you here without any worries.”

At his friend’s words, Jonathan noticed that he was no longer under the assault of the sun’s rays. The burning was dying down, leaving just a few spots where embers were gradually fading away. His charred skin was healing and the bones that had been bared were being covered once again by tissue. No more intense heat for him to endure.

Clarence started slowly and carefully extracting Jonathan from himself and setting him down on the ground, against a brick wall. By now, Jonathan could be more than just dead weight, and kept himself from falling over or knocking his friend off balance. He could look around properly and actually take in details, and he saw that he was in the storage area by the river where he’d first met Clay, full of enough shade where he wouldn’t need to worry about spending the day there. There were barrels to hide behind too, should the need arise.

Slumping against the cool wall in relief, Jonathan spoke up, “Thank you, Clarence. But don’t ever do that again! I don’t enjoy testing the limits of my willpower.”

Clarence licked his lips, staring with open fascination at Jonathan, watching him heal before his eyes. “I couldn’t just leave you there after saving me. I don’t know what kind of ulterior motive you could possibly have to sacrifice your body like that. You put yourself at the mercy of me or anyone else who would happen by.”

“I still don’t know the limits of my body, but I do know that it can withstand quite a lot of abuse.” While saying this, Jonathan examined one of his hands. It had been practically skeletal, but now looked almost normal. “I would’ve dragged myself into the shadows eventually.”

“You really are the old Johnny I’ve known,” Clarence said jokingly before sobering up. “It just makes this even more confusing.”

“I had hoped to keep this a secret from you, considering your views. I have  _ tried _ to distance myself from those who were close to me. The best I can do for their sakes is to keep them ignorant about my change. But you know now.” Jonathan paused. “I could attempt to make you forget…but I do not wish to risk the potential for things to go wrong. So I must ask: Will you reveal to anyone my true nature?”

Not meeting his eyes, Clarence responded, “I…do not know how I feel about all of this yet. Right now it almost seems like everything is just fine. But it’s not. Underneath all this, you  _ are _ a blood-sucking demon. How can I just ignore that fact? Pretend like you’re the friend I’ve known all these years?”

Jonathan opened his mouth to speak, but Clarence continued before he got a chance. “However, since I still feel like I can trust you right now, I will keep your secret safe. I want to have the time to think this through, try to make sense of it all before deciding what I should do. And if we can still be friends.”

Jonathan fought to keep himself from grinning too widely; his fangs still hadn’t retracted. “Take all the time you need; I’ll give you your space. And thank you. For helping me escape the sun and for trusting in me.”

“I almost want to pinch myself to see if this is all just some nightmare. Seeing you burning in the sun but still talking and acting just like my friend…It just doesn’t seem possible. I’d like to hope…” Clarence got too choked up to speak momentarily. “…I  _ can _ trust you. If this is all a lie...If you really  _ are _ a monster, I would like to be ignorant. If one day you decide to kill me, I’d rather not have suspected it. Let me live in a fantasy. I don’t know if I could take it if I did need to fear you.”

Jonathan was silent. He could think of nothing to say that could soothe his friend.

After a few moments of silence, Clarence seemed to collect himself. “I guess I’ll leave you, then.”

“Wait,” Jonathan stopped him. “There’s someone in the West End you should talk to: the young lady who stands outside the clothing shop at night campaigning for women’s rights. Tell her that I sent you and that you know about my condition. Ask her to teach you how to identify a vampire. It would make me feel better if you knew who to avoid.”

“What? There is another person who believes in vampires who was right in front of me all along! If I could get her to talk to Venus…Or…” Clarence trailed off, staring at Jonathan.

“This is a secret, Clarence! You cannot tell your wife! It wouldn’t end well.”

Clarence hunched slightly, looking apologetic. “Right. Sorry. But it would be solid proof!”

“Do you  _ really _ want Venus to become a part of this world?”

“I want Venus to believe in me! To not think I’m mad.”

Jonathan let out a big sigh. “Fine. When this epidemic is over, I can try talking to her. But I won’t reveal myself to her, I will only be talking about vampires existing in general.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for. I feel like you might be able to convince her, though. After all, you are the last person I would expect to believe in vampires.”

“I didn’t readily believe even after becoming one myself. I’d like to believe there’s a scientific explanation for everything, but now there’s so much I don’t understand about myself.”

Clarence shook his head. “You always were a ‘man of science,’ Johnny. Will you be alright if I leave you here?”

“Yes, I will be perfectly fine. Stop worrying about me, I’m the one that should be worried about you. Promise me you won’t do anything reckless.”

“So you’re the only one who gets to be stupid and self-sacrificing? But I do promise to try to stay safe.”

“Good….Until we meet again, Clarence,” Jonathan said as he struggled to keep his suddenly impossibly heavy eyelids open.

“Goodbye, Johnny.”

Jonathan sank into his death-like sleep as he heard Clarence walking away. Everything could have gone much worse. Despite his friend knowing his secret, there was still the possibility that their friendship could survive. 

He allowed himself to hope.


End file.
